Written By: Rusa, Shimmy Mob Austin
In March 2003, I married. Something I thought I would never do in my lifetime. Our life was pretty typical. But, only a few months into our marriage, my husband, changed. And not for the better.
He began to demand my whereabouts constantly, he was staying away from home for long periods of time, he grew angry when I was on the phone-even with my parents. His temper began to grow out of control. He refused to work and so I was left with working full time to support us and going to school full time.
In June 2004, his anger and violence came to an ugly head. He put his hands on me for the first, and last time. To say the least, it was a knock down, drag out fight. He smashed my phone to pieces when I tried to call 911 for help. He knocked me unconscious and left me on the living room floor as he stepped on me on the way out the door.
The next day, prompted by a friend, I acquired a new phone and I called the police to file a report. They refused to file one and stated to me, with laughter, they had seen worse, and left. I was lost, alone and scared. I called my parents to tell them what had happened. My Father was furious!
He in turn, called my Priest, who called me, and we had a very long talk, which ended with, "I should be counseling you through this, but I won't. You need to come home before I have to come there and identify you in a morgue". Within the week, I was moved back home and filed for divorce. I can remember very clearly my Mothers first words to me, "You do not look like you any more!" and she cried. I had not been eating right, if hardly at all, I had not been sleeping, as most arguments came as I was just beginning to sleep and he would flip the mattress on top of me and make me sleep on the floor. I also, at the time of knock down drag out fight, was pregnant and due to the abuse, I miscarried.
Our divorce was finalized a year later and through the entire proceedings, he denied that he ever did any wrong doing and blamed his anger on me.
Once the judge signed the order, it was like a weight lifted from my shoulders, but I still was not, myself. At his hands, I had lost most of who I was.
Through Belly Dance, I found that part of me again!
I began to take belly dance classes, and I loved it! I loved being with other women who were supportive, and nurturing. I loved feeling beautiful and sexy again! Something I had not felt in a very long time at the hands of my husband. The dance gave me joy again. The dance gave me hope again. The dance gave me peace again. I felt grounded. I felt, alive!
In 2011, when my dear friend from Memphis told me about, this "thing", called Shimmy Mob, I was excited! How perfect to have belly dancers raise money for battered women's and children's shelters. Shimmy Mob became my, niche. Though my city showed no interest in it at the time, I still participated. On my own! Alone! I was stronger than ever!
I moved to Austin, Texas later in 2011, and fell in love with the belly dance community. I had spoken with some dance friends and Austin was signed up for Shimmy Mob 2012 for the very first time. In 2013, I was honored to be the Assistant Team Leader and in 2014, I leaped in with both feet, and I am proud to say I AM the Team Leader for Austin 2014!
Through Belly Dance, I was able to heal. Through Belly Dance, I found my voice again. Through Shimmy Mob, I can give back and thank those who helped me when I needed it most and hopefully, empower at least one woman to be stronger!
~~
In March 2003, I married. Something I thought I would never do in my lifetime. Our life was pretty typical. But, only a few months into our marriage, my husband, changed. And not for the better.
He began to demand my whereabouts constantly, he was staying away from home for long periods of time, he grew angry when I was on the phone-even with my parents. His temper began to grow out of control. He refused to work and so I was left with working full time to support us and going to school full time.
In June 2004, his anger and violence came to an ugly head. He put his hands on me for the first, and last time. To say the least, it was a knock down, drag out fight. He smashed my phone to pieces when I tried to call 911 for help. He knocked me unconscious and left me on the living room floor as he stepped on me on the way out the door.
The next day, prompted by a friend, I acquired a new phone and I called the police to file a report. They refused to file one and stated to me, with laughter, they had seen worse, and left. I was lost, alone and scared. I called my parents to tell them what had happened. My Father was furious!
He in turn, called my Priest, who called me, and we had a very long talk, which ended with, "I should be counseling you through this, but I won't. You need to come home before I have to come there and identify you in a morgue". Within the week, I was moved back home and filed for divorce. I can remember very clearly my Mothers first words to me, "You do not look like you any more!" and she cried. I had not been eating right, if hardly at all, I had not been sleeping, as most arguments came as I was just beginning to sleep and he would flip the mattress on top of me and make me sleep on the floor. I also, at the time of knock down drag out fight, was pregnant and due to the abuse, I miscarried.
Our divorce was finalized a year later and through the entire proceedings, he denied that he ever did any wrong doing and blamed his anger on me.
Once the judge signed the order, it was like a weight lifted from my shoulders, but I still was not, myself. At his hands, I had lost most of who I was.
Through Belly Dance, I found that part of me again!
I began to take belly dance classes, and I loved it! I loved being with other women who were supportive, and nurturing. I loved feeling beautiful and sexy again! Something I had not felt in a very long time at the hands of my husband. The dance gave me joy again. The dance gave me hope again. The dance gave me peace again. I felt grounded. I felt, alive!
In 2011, when my dear friend from Memphis told me about, this "thing", called Shimmy Mob, I was excited! How perfect to have belly dancers raise money for battered women's and children's shelters. Shimmy Mob became my, niche. Though my city showed no interest in it at the time, I still participated. On my own! Alone! I was stronger than ever!
I moved to Austin, Texas later in 2011, and fell in love with the belly dance community. I had spoken with some dance friends and Austin was signed up for Shimmy Mob 2012 for the very first time. In 2013, I was honored to be the Assistant Team Leader and in 2014, I leaped in with both feet, and I am proud to say I AM the Team Leader for Austin 2014!
Through Belly Dance, I was able to heal. Through Belly Dance, I found my voice again. Through Shimmy Mob, I can give back and thank those who helped me when I needed it most and hopefully, empower at least one woman to be stronger!
~~